Reflections

Well... it's been about 6 months since I've been back in Canada. Wow. I was warned about culture shock, but to be honest... I hardly felt any. I don't know if that's good or not.

The only thing I really noticed coming back to Canada was how open and spacious everything was here. I was told that it would probably be a bad idea to go to a mall soon after getting back because I would feel overwhelmed. I went to a mall about a day or two after getting back and felt nothing.

I did come back with a greater amount of disgust at the addicting habits of consumerism and I was happy with less. I felt ashamed sometimes when I saw how much I had in my house... but is that culture shock? Perhaps it is... just mildly. I understand better the conditions in other parts of the world and I understand better the world views held by other people... and that there are many other world views.

I miss Bolivia. I miss the trees between my host house and the church. I miss my host family. I miss talking with my host mom. I miss the dogs and the cat. I miss all the trees everywhere and all the fresh fruit ready for the picking straight off the tree. I miss my church... and the rain... and the tienda down the street from MCC (with the cheap ice cream). And the siestas! And the hammocks and the geckos and all the crazy-looking flowers. And Spanish.

I'm glad to be back home in Canada, but I wish it were easier for me to visit Bolivia.

Getting back into school-mode took a long time. I was really surprised how hard it is to get back into homework/study mode after being gone a year. But, I think I'm settled pretty much back into it. I've kept some of my laid-back, manana-thinking with me... so that doesn't always serve well with school, but it serves nicely for life.

Before I went to Bolivia, I was very quiet and introverted and my self-esteem was rather low. It's crazy to look back and see how much one year elsewhere has changed me sooo much! It's so cool! Bolivia taught me independence and how to look out for myself. I learned that I can make decisions all on my own and that I can make friends by just being me.

I made some fantastic Canadian friends that were also volunteering in Bolivia and their interest in me and their friendship has meant so much to me. (here's to you, you crazy Winnipeggers!!). They showed me that I'm cool just the way I am. They also taught me a lot about not being judgmental. I used to have ideas of right and wrong and anyone who did anything that lay out of what is right, was a "bad" Christian and needed fixing. I still have ideas of right and wrong, but if someone doesn't fit into my mesh of what I believe is right, I realize it's not my place to judge them. Sounds simple, but it's such a huge truth to realize and put into practice. I can still love the person no matter if I agree with what they do or not. Thank you Kat and Toni for helping me so much. Even if you never realized it, you guys have impacted my life a lot (all for the good!).

All the Bolivians I met at my church were fantastic and I really miss my Bolivian church. I learned how to last through 3 hours of church and I learned to really enjoy it!

I've come back to Canada and I've kept the confidence I gained in Bolivia and it feels amazing! I never knew I could talk to so many people and make friends with so many different kinds of people. I've discovered that I'm not the introvert I use to think I was and I'm not so scared of being awkward. It's amazing the confidence you can gain when you lose the fear of being awkward! heh... well, I haven't lost that fear completely, but perhaps it's healthy to have a little of that fear. :P

Anyway, I wanted to post one last posting on this blog... I felt like it should have a little bit of closure. So, I'm back in Canada. I'm so glad I've gained experience outside my country - no matter how difficult it was. And... yes, there doesn't seem to be much else to say.

So... thank you to everyone who read my blog and who prayed for me when I was in Bolivia. I appreciate it so much! Perhaps someday I'll go somewhere equally exciting and blog on that... in fact, I'm planning on it... so stay tuned!